Exhausted mom of 3 fakes food poisoning to get a moment to herself: 'I cook, clean, work part-time from home, keep everyone alive, and I haven’t peed alone since 2018.'

Author image for Christiana Maimone
Christiana Maimone • Freelance Writer
Jul 6, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

If you're a mom, you know motherhood is not for the weak. Whether you're a stay-at-home mom or a working parent, being a mom is a job in itself, and often a thankless one at that. In today's story, we have a mom who just can't catch a break. Apparently, the only way she could have a moment of peace and quiet was to fake a bathroom emergency. 

It's one of those days – the house is a mess, each kid is pulling her in a different direction, and her lazy husband isn't helping. This mom just wants to eat some lunch without each bite being interrupted by a screaming toddler. She has three kids, but the way she describes her husband makes me think she actually has four. This father of three claims he "doesn't know how to handle these kids alone" and makes his wife feel bad for wanting a break from being two parents at once. So, she takes it upon herself to retreat to the bathroom and say she has food poisoning. 

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    AITA for locking myself in the bathroom with a burrito and pretending I had food poisoning just to get a break from my family for 47 minutes?

    So, hi. I (33F), a mom of three tiny lunatics (7M, 4F, 2F), have reached the "fakes her own digestive demise for peace" era of parenting. My husband, Chaz
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    parenting. My husband, Chaz (yes, fake name, but it fits the man who once told me "it can't be that hard to multitask a diaper change and a phone call"), is a decent guy with the situational awareness of a traffic cone.
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    It started when I told him I might need some alone time because I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and he replied:
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    "Didn't you just have alone time two days ago when you went to Target?" I was buying diapers and hemorrhoid cream, Chaz.
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    Anyway, fast forward to Saturday. The house looks like a cross between a tornado and a Chuck E. Cheese, the toddler is n ked (again), and someone spilled an entire family-size box of Cheerios
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    entire family-size box of Cheerios into the air vent. I'm nursing a caffeine-withdrawal headache because someone (Chaz) used the last of the espresso pods and replaced it with decaf.
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    I hit my limit when the 4-year-old screamed "YOU'RE A BAD MOMMY" because I cut her banana wrong. I'm not proud, but
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    banana wrong. I'm not proud, but I grabbed a pillow, a blanket, and a beefy, cheesy, completely undeserved burrito, walked into the bathroom, and declared, “I think I have food poisoning." Then I locked the door.
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    For the next 47 glorious minutes, I sat on the floor, ate my burrito in peace, watched TikToks on silent, and made myself a cozy little bathroom cave. I even lit a
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    little bathroom cave. I even lit a candle for ambiance. I faked a few groans and flushed the toilet once for realism. I felt like an Oscar-worthy actress.
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    But THEN... Chaz bangs on the door, yelling that he "doesn't know how to handle all three kids at once" and that I'm being dramatic. I say nothing. Silence is
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    dramatic. I say nothing. Silence is power. Eventually, I emerge, holding my stomach like I've just fought God and diarrhea.
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    Later that night, I come clean. Chaz says I'm "manipulative," and that I "abandoned him with the kids." My MIL (who somehow got
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    kids." My MIL (who somehow got involved via FaceTime because of course she did) called me "lazy and disrespectful" for faking an illness.
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    But like... I cook, clean, work part- time from home, keep everyone alive, and I haven't peed alone since 2018.
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    So Reddit... AITA for faking food poisoning and hiding in the bathroom to eat a burrito alone because I needed one singular moment of peace in this hellscape of a weekend?
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  • Who hasn't faked an illness to a day off work or made up an excuse to stay in one night? It happens. We all need a break sometimes, especially moms. And for this mother of three, desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm glad she got to enjoy her burrito alone, even if it was in the bathroom. 

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    Civil Anybody8095 Emergency burrito and fake food poisoning, this is next level survival skills. She didn't choose the snack life, the snack life chose her
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    AnxiousTelephone2997 NTA. I'm sorry you had to leave your four children alone for a while, even though one of them is supposed to be grown enough to handle situations like this. I think you need to be incredibly clear with your eldest, Chaz: unless more breaks are going to be built in, you will be meeting The Runny Sh Gods at random instead.
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    PressurePlus431 NTA you have a husband problem you should sit him down and have a serious conversation about burnout and boundaries with the MIL
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    CurrentAccess 1885 NTA and I kinda love this Imao if Chaz can't handle 3 kids by himself for 47 minutes, maybe he shouldn't have helped you create 3 little creatures that destroy your peace and your home everyone needs a break sometimes, and you deserve one that isn't in the bathroom
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    Dog Most8793 NTA you're a queen for that
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family drama aita AITAH kids motherhood parenting deadbeat dad Memes husband dad family Reddit mom funny single mom
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